Oct 05 2008
Tuscany
My biggest challenge on the farm is getting along with the Americans and not being eaten by wild boar. I’m just not clicking with any of the others or perhaps I’m isolating myself from them because they have all of a sudden tainted my international experience. We all had to pick a focus on the farm as our main project. Some students worked in the vineyard, some in the garden, the others in the kitchen with the theme of sustainability. I worked in the vineyard for a day and another day in the garden. By day three I needed to be alone, away from the haters. I chose a new solo project for myself in the form of trail restoration. They estate had some really cool trails, one led to an abandoned hospital. The trail had been neglected; I spent hours every day clearing debris. Before I became a gang banger, I was a Girl Scout for many years. We were taught to leave a place better than how you found it.
It only took me a few minutes to do that move you only see in cartoons where the stupid farmer steps on the rake and the handle swings up and knocks you in your teeth.
We had been warned that there was a boar problem on the property but that they were nocturnal and you wouldn’t see them during the day. It reminds me of the raccoon problem we had back in California.
Jack and I were camping at the beach one fall weekend; we were the only campers that night. It was getting dark and cold; we could hear the raccoons wrestling around in the bushes. We grabbed our grocery bags of cinnamon rolls and chips and retired to our tent. I woke up in the middle of the night with dozens of raccoons that had eaten through the tent walls; they fought over the bags of Cheetos and Doritios. I woke Jack up screaming he began screaming even louder like a little girl as we both tried kicking the raccoons. It didn’t faze them they were out for blood and Oreo cookies. When the food was devoured they left on their terms, after all we were in their home.
I got up early the next morning and hiked down the trail. I heard something running threw the forest when there they stood a mother boar and her baby. I starred the beast in the eye and went from Girl Scout to gang banger yelling, “Come on Bitch, you wanna Fuck with me, I’ll kill you and your Baby!” The beast backed down and ran away. That night we ate wild boar with a chocolate sauce, delizei!
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Not A Member? Register for Free!
