Sep 11 2008
Baby Shower
Mom sent me an email and said she needed a list of people to invite to my baby shower. I replied, “oh hell no! Don’t you dare woman; I swear if you try any surprises, I will cut you off.”I hate to be the center of attention, the idea of sitting in a circle, opening gifts, and repeating over and over again “How cute.” The gesture is very kind but not worth the torture of cuteness. Baby showers are like Mardi Gras, show us your tits and we’ll throw you some beads. Show us your fat belly and we’ll throw you a onesie.
I’m the worst at hosting parties. Jack and I once hosted a party where I snuck off outside to smoke a joint, one of my co-workers hunted me down and chewed me out, “you can’t just ditch us at your own party.” I always thought parties just ran themselves but apparently there is work involved.
Kat and I hosted a Halloween party one year that got a little loud. A woman in a witch costume yelled, “Whoever lives here, your landlord’s at the door.”
I didn’t want to talk to her drunk dressed as a bumble bee so I hid under my bed forcing Kat to handle the situation dressed as wonder woman.
Mom wrote back,” that’s the point, people want to help you get started and you need help, get over it.”
from my book: Scars of Paris available at Borders or Barnes & Nobles
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