The Bad Mom

I flew to Louisville for my sister’s backyard wedding in late October. Louisville is beautiful in the fall with tree lined streets blooming in bright hues of orange and red leaves. Quiet neighborhoods with scarecrows and pumpkins placed outside their screened in porches. It was a small wedding because most of our family lives in California, but I couldn’t miss this for anything. When I think back to my own wedding ten years ago and the trouble my sister went through to attend, I had to be there.

My sister Scarlett is beautiful, smart and hilarious. She was always the center of attention, entertaining everyone with her imitations and jokes. In her freshman year of high school, she dropped out, ran away and became a heroin junkie. One day we were watching TV and saw a commercial for a drug rehab. The commercial featured my sister sitting on a street corner begging for money. They aired this commercial on a regular basis for years. We got a call on New Years Eve. Scarlett had overdosed, she was in the hospital where they were able to shoot her up with adrenaline and bring her back to life. As soon as she was breathing, she was arrested. My family went to visit her in Juvenile Hall. She was upset. Her cellmate and fellow junkie from the neighborhood had died. She overdosed in juvy after her father smuggled in some heroin, another fine example of parenting.

Scarlett was taken from my parent’s custody and became a ward to the state. She was shipped off to drug rehab where she was doing really well. The rules were that you couldn’t leave the center until you graduated. We were able to make a deal so that Scarlett could be in my wedding; the catch was she had to be handcuffed to an escort because of her history of running away. I won’t be able to top the handcuffs but I will be announcing my French Bastard.

Food is very important to a pregnant women, I mean peoples lives are at stake if food is not available. (Did somebody say steak?) You loose control of your actions then gain it back in your ass. Scarlett’s wedding reception included a buffet but it wasn’t quite ready. I waited patiently for about three seconds then grabbed my plate and attacked. A group of guest sitting at a near-by table noticed my rude behavior. One of them yelled, “It’s not ready!” while another one went to go find my sister to tell on me. A man came up and scolded me, “you have to wait for the bride and groom!” I shoved some crab cakes into my mouth ignoring their existence whatsoever. Then the tattletale dragged my sister over and says, “Look at her, she’s eating before its ready!”
Scarlett explains, “That’s just my pregnant sister, I would stay out of her way before somebody gets hurt.”

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