The Bad Mom

I admit it, I slutted my way through the summer of ‘06 and don’t make any apologies for it, after all I had been with the same man for ten years, I’m entitled to a rebound. The problem is I don’t know who my baby’s daddy is.

I’m not stupid, I always use condoms, so when the rubber broke with a man in Paris, I assumed the French dude was the father. The weird thing is, the French dude was from Egypt. He had dark skin, dark hair and dark eyes.

My baby is WHITE, really white with blond hair and blue eyes. I look at him and squint like you would to one of those posters that were popular in the nineties. At first it just looks like a pattern of small graphics but if you squint for a long time you start to see a racecar or a mountain or something.

People try to reassure me that they have some cousin with a bi-racial baby that came out white, but I’m just not convinced. Could this be some genetic fluke? Maybe our creator knew I would be a single mom and made the baby look like me; is that possible? My sister has bi-racial children that look Mexican in fact; over the years my sister has started looking Mexican. Whenever my family attends a birthday party or Qincineta the other attendees whisper to my sister, “who are the white people; is that your boss?”

There was this white guy I used as my sacrificial lamb right around the time I got pregnant. I guess I’ll have to call Maury Povich for a DNA test.