The Bad Mom

I boarded the 75 bus crampy with my sweatshirt tied around my waist; wearing my baby’s diaper…..flow was back.  I haven’t had a menstrual cycle in…well, nine months of pregnancy and another nine of breastfeeding…carry the one, that’s 18 months of bloodless panties.   Of all the times and all the places why did that bitch show up, unannounced to a slumber party? 

     Once a month or so my very good friend Jade and I gather at her home way out in St.Johns for cheap wine and expensive cheese.  We have hours of drunken girl talk then I crash on her blow-up mattress.  The baby woke me up at the wee hours of the A.M.  As I grabbed my boob to shove in his mouth I noticed my hands covered in blood which now covered my boob and was smeared on my baby’s face.  At first I thought I had been shot as Jade was just telling me that her neighbor was threatened at gunpoint all for a measly bicycle.  I scanned my body for bullets until I realized it was coming from my vagina.  My period was everywhere as if it had been building up for 18 months until my uterus exploded onto Jade’s white down comforter.  I went to the bathroom leaving a bloody imprint of my ass on Jade’s toilet seat.  I scurried around trying to clean up the mess before she woke up.  I found some tampons in her bathroom and quickly injected one except later I realized that this was no job for a tampon as blood was soaking through my designer jeans, I needed super absorption, I needed a diaper.

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