Jun 29 2008
Bed Wetter
Bed Wetter
I skipped through the mall all the way to Sears. There it was. The pink and grey 10-speed bike I had been asking Santa, the Easter Bunny and dandelions for but never received until now. Nope it wasn’t even my 12th birthday. I stopped wetting the bed. When all else fails…. Bribery.
It’s not like I chose to wake up every morning drenched in my own waste. I loved the humiliation at slumber parties; I’d suddenly wake up super early realizing I had messed myself. I’d quickly roll up my bag and get dressed before anyone else woke. Later my friends brother found himself damp while eating his fruity pebbles watching cartoons.
Ahhhhh, what’s all wet?!
He stuck his nose to the shag carpet for identification.
It’s piss!!
Molly was sleeping there, the mean girl narc’d me out.
Everyone Ewwwwwwwwwed me.
I didn’t get invited to many sleepovers after that, luckily we moved a lot.
I analyzed my problem was that I slept too hard to wake up on my own. So I started setting an alarm clock and soon my body got into a routine. I’m proud to say that I’ve been dry for 20 years now, if pissing yourself while heavily intoxicated doesn’t count.
My name’s Molly and I am a bed wetter.
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